|Needs More Borgnine Gravy|
|Written by Eric Reynolds | Filed under Adventures in Slumberland||16 Aug 2011 12:33 PM|
I walked into Gary's office to ask him if he'd sent Johnny Ryan a contract for Prison Pit yet. He said he had. I asked him what Johnny's advance was. "Seven dollars," he replied. I was mortified. Gary stated that he meant to offer "seventy dollars" but when he wrote up the contract, he mis-typed and liked how it looked so much he decided to go with it. I suggested that perhaps $7 was more insulting than no advance at all. He laughed. I pleaded with him to reconsider. He wasn't having any of it. Suddenly, a large hawk landed outside Gary's window on the office driveway. We were captivated by its beauty. Someone opened the front door and the hawk casually walked into Gary's office. Its presence made me nervous. The hawk sensed my fear; it leapt onto my shoulders and began slashing and pecking me. Gary laughed uproariously. I woke up sweaty and mad at him. Where was Ernest Borgnine when I needed him most?